It's a Miracle

The second miracle Jesus ever did here was healing a boy when a desperate father came to him.  Jesus was not near the boy.  He never physically had any interaction with him.  The father could barely get the words pleading for help out of his mouth before Jesus told the concerned father, who had traveled to find him, that his son lives.  The father returned home to find that the very hour he spoke with Jesus, the fever had broken.  In the seventh hour, the father believed the words of Jesus and a miracle happened.

In Roman culture, the seventh hour was the end of the work day.  For many of us, it's late afternoon.  It is that time of day when we finish up, wind down and think about having dinner or a nice bath.  Romans took baths in their bathouses and then had dinner.  The time for work was over.

I wonder how often I have missed the seventh hour with God.  Have I waited so long to address a problem with him that the risk of failed enlightenment, possibly for good, is at hand?  Will the fever get worse?  Will I go whatever lengths necessary to find Jesus for someone else?  Will I put my pride aside and logic away so that God does a miracle? 

It is a little scary to think how often I have missed opportunities to see miracles in my own life and the lives of others.  What do I miss every day?  What do I not see that is right under my nose?  What do I take for granted?  I am humbled today thinking of the miraculous things God has done, and is doing in my life.  I am ashamed of how I get so caught up in the busyness and superficiality of this world.  Thank God he brings us back around like the lost sheep that we are.  Gently guiding us back to green pastures.  Now, that's a miracle.

Mental Illness and God

The older I get, the more I understand that verse about knowing in part down here on earth.  It seems "adult" issues that we are supposed to understand, often have no answers at all.

I think I went into counseling to find those answers that alluded me for so long.  Maybe if I could understand myself and others better, the atrocities of life could fit into a little box.  Maybe those spiritual things that I just could not see could be identified with long words and medication.  I have found that most of the issues so many of us try to diagnose and treat are spiritual wars that may have gone on for decades.

I am not saying there is no worth in diagnosing and finding cures for mental illness.  I am saying the root of most of those problems comes from the stench of hell itself.  That may be controversial to say.  I realize patterns in the brain can be identified that make it seem that these illnesses are genetic.  Some truly are, but I believe the vast majority of mental health issues stem from the great deceiver.

I have been on both sides of the desk when it comes to counseling and psychiatry.  I have been one that is helping the person and the person being helped.  I think the root of many of the issues people have is so buried, so long-standing and so painful that sometimes no pill and no doctor can cure them.  Only God can shed light on what has been hidden and give hope where there has been darkness.  You reap what you sow, and I believe these demons are passed down from generation to generation. 

I am not pulling this from nowhere.  I have lived it and continue to see it in individuals and families.  I whole-heartily advocate seeking counseling and psychiatric help.  I believe that the only way to truly be rid of the abyss of darkness is to look to God for help-whatever that may mean.

Martina McBride - Concrete Angel

This is one of my favorite songs.  Thank God that he always takes care of his children! 

Thank You Very Much!

I am terrible at accepting compliments.  It is one of the things about me that is a work in progress.  Before I have even realized it, I squelch the joy of others by short-circuiting their gift of words.  I'll change the subject, not really respond at all, or find anything to say except, Thank You.  So, to all of you whom I have done this to, my apologies.

It makes me think about how often I cut God off at the pass before He is able to completely tell me something that could be uplifting.  Do I run off to my next meeting or conversation prematurely?  Was there something he wanted to finish telling me through another person or silence of my car ride?  This can-do attitude of mine definitely has it's drawbacks.  But, I am so very thankful He is patient with me.  And thankful he is teaching me to be just as patient with others, no matter how frustrated I may become!  He is not letting me forget that the splinter I think is so apparent in someone else is nothing compared to the tree log that is my fault.  Discipline from God brings to light the ugliness in us that we may have thought were our strengths.  Pride cometh before a fall.  Tim-burr!

Don't be Crazy!

We had (or I should say, I had- since the cat was mine before we got married) a cat that would move her tail back and forth, think it was something to catch and then bite it.  After she sunk her teeth into her own tail, she would meow really loudly and run all over the place flicking her tail everywhere. We would come home to find that it looked like someone had used our apartment for a modern art canvas using only the color red.

We have since given the cat to another family member where, sorry to say, she is still having her little fits.  Part of me feels sorry for her.  She has to be in pain.  But then part of me wonders what in the world could make her do something like that to herself.

Are we not the same, though?

Well, maybe not in such a visibly disturbing way, but we can self-destruct quite easily without even realizing it.  We may be reacting to something in our lives or just always done things a certain way without realizing we are biting our own tails.  I guess these things could be characterized as character flaws.  They are the things we may or may not be aware of in our own lives that we do to continually keep ourselves from healing or moving forward.  They are things we get so fixated on, we forget that anyone else exists.  Sometimes, they are things that we fear the most.

Little Cat ended up actually shortening her tail she bit it so much.  The vet says she is an extremely anxious cat.  It didn't help the matter by moving her 5 times in five years, getting married and getting a dog.  But, not every animal will inflict pain upon themselves even through lots of change.  We are trying to find things to distract her and calm her so that she does not hurt herself anymore.

In my own life, I find that the thing that greatly settles me is basking in the warmth of God's love.  This morning, I opened a little new testament that had a commentary in it.  I opened it to John 3.  The title of the section was: It is a Fact that God loves you.  I love that.  No matter how much I twirl around in a circle trying to bite my tail and look crazy, God loves me.  He waits for me to settle down and shows me the alternative to what I am doing to myself.  Old habits die hard, but I sure am willing to fight!

Forgive or Forget

My grandmother recently sent me an album full of pictures of my late father.  As I flipped through it for the first time, tears cascaded down my cheeks.  It was surreal seeing images of him I had never seen.  There was one picture in particular that I think of today.  It was one of the last ever taken of him.  He looked frail compared to the man I remembered.  He looked sick.

I have forgiven my father for those hurts in the past.  I continue to forgive him every day in new ways.  I have often wondered how God could remember our sins no more, even if we have asked him to.  I have wondered how he could let the pain we inflict upon him dissipate so easily.  I misjudged, though.  It wasn't easy for him to sacrifice his son.  He went through terrible agony so the day would come when he would not feel the pain we inflict upon him because of our sin.  It took his son hanging in our place for him to now only see him.  We are forgiven as far as the east is from the west.  He doesn't see those things we beat ourselves up about when he looks at us.  He sees his Son.  When we ask to be forgiven in sincerity of heart, we are.  It is done...as simple as that.

Now in my life, I am more able to release the anger stored up from the pain of my childhood.  The effects of sin are long lasting.  Even if we continue to forgive  and even when we "release" that person from their guilt...and that person may be ourselves.  We live with consequences of what we have done in the darkness.  But I am thankful today that those consequences do not enslave us.  They are reminders to stay on the path God has for us.  They are not meant for us to beat ourselves up about the past.  They are meant for us to push forward into a future of freedom.

In the picture of my dad, he was wearing really large sunglasses.  It saddens me to know that deep down, he was so very depressed, afraid and just wanted to hide away from the world.  I live with consequences of his sin and my own.  But I move forward today, praying to remember those sins no more.  I press on praying to be a better person despite that sin and despite satan's hope to keep my family bound.  Today may seem like just another day, but to me, it is a day to forget. 

Valentine's Day

My husband and I were talking about Valentine's Day over the weekend.  He believes it is a holiday for women.  I do see his point.  He jokingly talked about how so much emphasis is put on getting the right thing for the woman in a man's life.  He wondered why I was getting offended as he kept saying how the holiday is all about women.  I tried to explain as best I could that I try really hard to make it about him, also.

As I was thinking more about it this morning, I realized that it means so much to me, because it symbolizes a dream come true.  It's not just another day on the calendar when we go out to eat.  I don't care if I get a nice present or even flowers (although I love flowers:).  It means so very much to me because of what has happened in my life.  This day symbolizes the breaking of longstanding captivity.  Those bars were tight, heavy and seemingly unbreakable.  Until, God answered prayers prayed long ago by many people.  My husband is the answer to those prayers and the key to my freedom.  Without God's intervention, I would have never realized he was the key, right under my nose, to a world I could only imagine.

So honey, I want to make today as much of a celebration of you as it is of me.  I am utterly blessed that you are in my life.  This day means so much to me, because you have shown me love.  Our love has broken bondage, and will continue to for the rest of our lives.  You are my heaven-sent Valentine.  I love you babe.

The Journey with God

I was thinking recently about the uncertainty of life.  And, I was kind of feeling in the dark.  It seems there are times in life when you step on a land mine.  It's out of nowhere.  It's shocking on so many levels.  And it changes your life.

I feel that way at times.  I feel that I am just walking along my merry way, when BOOM!  I am paralyzed from head to toe as I lay face down, stunned and bewildered by what has just happened.  Have you ever been there?  When you have no idea what is happening, but you know you sure aren't in Kansas anymore.

I know that the path was paved long ago.  The dangers installed there were cleverly placed by satan.  If we realize that Jesus is always beside of us, that may help.  Then, we wonder why he didn't tell us what is ahead...now that can just be infuriating, until, we see that it's not about those ticking time bombs.
It's not about the pain inflicted by them.  It's about the journey.  It's about the calm, serene peace he gives during those times.  It's about forming callouses where you've been hit, so that next time, you aren't as debilitated

My husband is a hunter.  I have to admit, I get a little bit sad when he tells me "he got one".  But on the other hand, I love eating deer meat.  My husband began hunting in an area this past year, where the deer are plenty and the hunters are few.  He had a lot more "success", because these deer are oblivious to the warning signs that a hunter is on the prowl.  They did not know the smell of the hunters.  They are taking their time, moseying along, when out of nowhere, they're hit.


It's the same with us.   You cannot assume the road will be paved smoothly and no dangers will be there just because you are protected.  God never said that we would not experience hard times and pain.  He never said we would understand everything.  He said trust him.  He said he will always be there with us to teach us how to deal with our enemy.  God protects us by educating us on how to handle these attacks, so that we can fight better in the future...for ourselves, for others, and for him.

A deer's best defense: identifying the smell of danger and fleeing.  A Christian's best defense: detecting satan's snares and praying.  Thank God he hears every word.  Thank God for those heavenly embraces.

Grace Today

"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."    ~I Corinthians 15:10

I wonder..do I really know Grace?  Do I know what it is to be filled up with the more than enough of God in all aspects of my life?  I don't think I do.  I think I have only glimpsed what his Grace in my life can accomplish.  I know that my so-called self-sufficiency has been the thief of unmerited favor and relief.

Grace does not merely save our souls...it creates life.  Grace does what we could never do.  It makes mountains, mole hills.  Grace is what makes a "good Christian".  Not works...it's the grace of God to do that work.  It's Him.  Period.

I am seeing areas in my life where grace does not abound.  Where I take it upon myself to handle the situation and glean from my own minuscule understanding.  I pray for God's grace to fill me today.  Because what I see as a strength, is most likely my greatest weakness.

A Real American Patriot

Listen carefully to this verse that most of us have never heard from our Star Spangled Banner.  What a tribute to soldiers and to the God who has and does bless this country.  May he continue to bless America.

Just Another Piece of the Puzzle

1 Corinthians 15:58: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

Have you ever wondered what the point is?  What is the point of the work you are doing?  Are you really making a difference?  Does your work even matter?  I certainly have.  I have been so tired, both physically and emotionally, and felt that God had abandoned me in my exhaustion.

I have learned that the work of God is not necessarily what we may assume.  The work of the Lord is what he has entrusted us to do that day.  Whether it is mopping a floor, meeting with a friend, taking care of a child, cooking dinner, doing paperwork, or going to a meeting, God knew these things would transpire and has a plan.  Each conversation and task is an opportunity to see God.

So, in the minutiae of life, remember, it all matters.  Every little detail comes together to paint the portrait of your life.

Starving for Nothing

We're going to come into this world with nothing, and we're going to leave with nothing.  So, why is that we try so desperately to fill our lives with so many somethings? 

I love it when the refrigerator and cabinets are full of food.  It makes me feel really good.  I know it's because we did not always have money when I was a child to come close to that.  But, then I think about how much food I can throw out.  I think of that waste.  I do think of those starving children around the world that would love my scraps.  Why can't I be satisfied with what I need instead of longing to fill up and overflow my refrigerator, and my life, with what is not necessary?

You know, it really doesn't matter if I have a lot of food.  It just matters that I have food.  I am reminding myself today, not to get caught up in having stuff, but remember to put value, and spend what I have to give, on the relationships in my life.

Praying for a Better Life

John 16:23-24
"And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you.
Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."

Have you ever heard that saying, "Be careful what you ask for!"?  I was thinking about that in light of our relationship with God...and in fact, in light of our relationship with anyone.  Thinking like that and accepting all that those words imply, mean we are gulping down fear instead of spitting it out.  We are allowing it to put chains around us so that we stay right where we are.  We think we are safe in our lives where nothing will change, but instead we are bound by closed thinking and living.  Is not the Christian life one that requires guts and recklessness?  Did Christ live a life where he was careful about pushing the limits?  If you have ever read the Bible, you know that he lived a life so daring, yet wise, that he baffled the heads of state and the most lowly of people.  Was he careful about what he said?  He said what he knew to be true.  He said what the father told him to say.  He prayed the way the Father and Spirit instructed.  I find myself hesitant at times to pray the way that the Bible states.  It's risky, yes.  It will definitely change your life.  You will be answered, in one way or another, in unexpected ways, in crazy ways at times.  But, it is SO worth it. 

I am not going to be careful for asking God for miracles, to love others more, for him to bring circumstances into my life so that those prayers can be answered.  Yes, it's kind of scary to think how he could answer prayers we pray that will directly challenge us and make us decide if we will take the chance to do things he wants us to do.  He may ask us to step completely out of our comfort zones for his glory and our benefit.  We may not realize it at the time.  So, why avoid praying in such a way that leaves you open to the unknown?  The benefits outweigh the risks by and large.

It reminds me of how children are.  We are the children of God, so it makes sense that God would treat us as a good parent treats their child.  A good parent knows and understands their child to a point where they can tell when and how they should teach them lessons.  If you try to teach your two year old Algebra, you will probably get disappointed.  If you don't teach them to share and play, you will be dealing with more behavior problems later in life, and they will.  God knows where we are.  He knows when it's time to teach us things.  If the child never asks for things, even though we know they may be good for them, we may believe they aren't ready for those lessons.  Thank goodness, God is aware of when and how we are ready.  But he wants us to communicate with him...to commune and have a deeper relationship with him.  He wants us to want him.  And that is what those good and perfect gifts lead us to.  They lead us to him.  I am praying through my fear today for those things that I lack in my life that he is so willing to give.  I pray you do the same.