Saturday, June 30, 2012

Pet Therapy

Anyone that knows me or my husband has heard about Bailey.  He's our 4 year old hound mix.  We adopted him from the animal shelter when he was 3 months old.  When we arrived to pick him up, the lady at the desk said he was still groggy from being neutered.  The poor thing had an accident on himself while he was waiting for us.  I love the fact that Eric just picked him right up, poop and all, cradled him in his arms and carried him to the car.

That was the beginning of our love story with our floppy eared, tri-colored, nose to the ground puppy.  It's amazing how much an animal can enrich your life.  I know I'm biased, but he is definitely one of the smartest dogs I have ever known.  When he wants something, he knows how to get it (head cocked to one side as he looks up with his big brown eyes), and when he doesn't want to get into trouble for doing something he knows is wrong (getting into the trash), he works quietly when no one is around so he doesn't get caught.  He also watches television.  He will watch a half hour show about dogs never looking away. 
     
He is also one of the most sensitive dogs I have ever known.  If Eric and I are fighting, he either puts his head down and slowly goes to hide or stands in the middle, looks back and forth at us and barks.  Either way, it makes you want to stop making him upset.  He has been there through difficult times to witness what no one else has. If we are upset, he comes to console us with his wet nose pressed against our faces. 

 I love how his tail starts to slowly wag and then increases in speed as I lift my head to greet him good morning or get down on the floor to play.  When he knows he gets to go for a ride, he follows us around the house while we get ready pushing us with his nose so we'll hurry up.  Once he gets in the car, he stands up with one paw flapping in the wind so he can get his head out to breathe in all of the smells.  His black ears flip flop as we ride along and air pushes his mouth up and down so it looks like he's talking.  He usually has quite a few fans as we ride through town. 

His favorite weekend visit is to PetSmart.  As soon as I turn to go into the shopping center, he starts pacing back and forth in the back seat.  Every dog he meets is a friend.  His nose stays glued to floor to analyze who and what has been in the store.  The only thing he would be fine without is the cats that are up for adoption.  He seems to sense that they don't like him, so he keeps his distance.  He also visits his "grandparents" and other family members (human and canine) quite often.  When we say their names, he gets excited to go see them.  He is a happy dog that loves his family.


I can't imagine the last four years without him.  There have been so many times little things he did cheered me up.  When I didn't want to smile, I couldn't help it when I looked at him.  I am thankful for my Bailey today.  I hope for many more years with him, but if today were our last day with him, I would have peace.  I know God's purpose for his life was to be with us.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Friends Come and Go

I have never really handled changes in relationships very well.  I tend not to get too close so that I won't get hurt should the relationship end or change for some reason.  In my experience, those changes can be extremely painful and difficult to manage.

I realize though, that changes must come for growth to happen.  Those relationships need room to breathe and mature into what God wants them to be.  What may seem to be the end could just be the beginning of a new facet and deeper level of friendship.  A whole new way of seeing someone may emerge and a sense of appreciation for them that was never there before.

I think it is also difficult for me since I grow very attached to people once I let myself start to bond.  I am the type that is very loyal and try to meet the needs of those I care about.  When the relationship faces change, I question what my role will be in their lives.  Will I lose the sense of safety with this person once the relationship changes?  Will I not be able to be there for them and will they not be there for me?  Will I be replaced?

It seems scary to think you could be replaced after putting so much work into a relationship.  I don't think it's a replacement, though.  How can one person completely replace another?  No, we add people to our lives when others fade out. 

Sometimes, we are meant to be in a person's life for a short time.  It can be a time where a deep bond is formed making it difficult when circumstances change. The ease of the friendship is no longer there.  It may not be convenient anymore.  We don't need to think of it as losing a friend, but be grateful that we had that friendship at that particular time in our lives.

Some friends are lifelong.  They are constant.  They are there though others may drift in and out.  Thank God for these people that help make up the backbone of our sanity.  They tell us like it is and never falter in their love for us.  They are easy to talk to, because they just get us. These people are true blessings from above that go through our lives with us.

I am still learning how to transition with people.  I am grateful that God has taken me through situations that challenge my faulty thinking and anxiety. 

It's life.  It's a process.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Wildflowers in the Kingdom

As I was driving today, I was struck by a beautiful array of wildflowers painting the ditch.  There was one particular stretch that overflowed with the most lively bunch of flowers of just about every color.

It made me think about the name we give these scenic wonders...wildflowers.  I guess they are wild.  They are growing in a place where they were not planted or tended by man.  They often grow in harsh conditions without supervision or control.  They sprout up boldly and are taken care of by the father above to bless us during a mundane drive.

How often do we try to tame wildflowers?  How often do we cut them down, trim them or try to move them and end up killing them?  They may be someone we love.  The wildflower could be a part of us that we keep from emerging from an unlikely place.  A true wildflower seems dangerous to us, but magnificent to God.  He has it under control.  He doesn't want us living lives of fear where we never express who we are.  No, he wants us to live a life abandoned.  He will show the world that it's not crazy to let something grow where "it's not supposed to".  We aren't supposed to try to be just like everyone else.  If we were, what would be the point of making more than one human? 

So, when people say you're crazy for whatever it is that you just know in your heart is what God wants and is pleasing to him, just keep focused and press through that hard ground.  Soon, you'll be the wildflower that makes them smile.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

To have the Faith of Juma

At what point does concern grow into worry?  Can we pinpoint the moment when our concern grows into an obsession that has no solution?

I think what matters is what we decide to do with what may be a very valid concern.  We can determine if there is a way to fix it or not.  Then, if there is no way to fix it, we can either leave it up to God and faithfully wait for his answer to the concern or decide to keep thinking and ruminating over it.

I am one that tends to worry.  I want to know the answer now.  I don't want to wait for the solution.  I don't want to watch without any control over something I think I can answer. No, I want to make everything fit nicely into a box that I can carry around and place where I want it.  The unknown does not fit into my box.  So, I try to force it there.

I think we worry a lot about things that are ridiculous to worry about.  In the grand scheme of things, in light of an eternity with the most beautiful eternal being, we decide to worry about how much money we have, our jobs, and our kids instead of living a life full and blessed as God intended.  You might think it is fine and normal to worry about our kids, but I don't think it is.  I think it is absolutely normal to be concerned for them, but not pleasing to God to replay their issues in our minds over and over again.  I don't think it is healthy to push our ideas of what we think will make them happy onto them, either.  That is birthed from worry.  Worry will ultimately push our children, families and everyone away from us.  Worry is anxiety, and anxiety demonstrates a lack of faith.

I am saying these things knowing full well how anxious I can become, but I also know that God is gracious and patient.  He places us in various situations and circumstances to help us grow our faith.  He gives us opportunities to learn to rely on him.  We don't become people of faith without listening to him, waiting with him and relying on him to carry us through the unknown, scary places.  How many of us can say we are truly content?  I don't think many people in this country feel that way.

I will never forget meeting a young African boy when I went to Kenya many years ago.  This 12 year old boy made me so happy, because he was happy.  He had lived on the streets most of his life and found his way to a boys' home after living a life of hardship abandoned by everyone that was supposed to love him.  All he had was Jesus, and it was evident by the contagious smile on his face and the peace that seemed to gush from within like a fountain of gold.  He didn't have everything figured out.  He just knew God would provide.  This young man had the wisdom of an 80 year old and the heart of an angel.  I will never forget Juma.  I left Africa wanting to live a life like that.

I still think about him and joy floods within.  I barely knew him, but the blessing of knowing someone with that kind of faith continues to change me. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I've Got This Under Control

It's ironic how much I find my self saying I will take care of things but fail to realize I really am not.   I fail to realize God always has a plan.  He always has a way no matter how impossible it may seem to navigate.

I think of how easily it can be to stay in a place in our lives where we think we have things under control.  We think we can handle things alright when God has a golden door of opportunity waiting.  Behind it is the unknown, and true to human form, we find ourselves running back to the place where we feel safe.  All the while, God is saying, "I know you don't see the way, but I will make a way for you."  And once we take that first step, he provides the footing we need to cross into a place that he has for us.  Once we take that first step, it doesn't seem so scary anymore.  We may ask God where he is as we are traversing this unknown territory, and he says, "I am the ground beneath your feet.  I told you I would never leave you or forsake you.  Why would I now when you have walked by faith?"  He sees us safely to where he wants us to be and shows us there are more mysteries for us to behold if we continue to have faith.

If you are truly living the Christian life, you can never say it's boring.  I think of roller coasters.  Sometimes, you can't see what's ahead.  There are abrupt twists and turns, drops, ascents and plateaus.  If you get in your seat expecting the best and believing you're going to have fun, you most likely will.  If you get on in fear or because someone else wants you to do it, there will be disappointment.  If you have faith that you will be okay, the thrill is worth not having control.

We can get so wrapped up in what goes on in this world that the reality of it's brevity alludes us.  We want to feel safe so badly that we miss out on furthering the Kingdom here on earth.  If he says go, go.  You may not have the money or means right now, but if he is telling you to walk through that door, a way will be made.  Whatever the circumstance that is so insurmountable to the human mind, is a simple fix to God.  We cannot see the future, but he can.  We may not be sure how things will work out, but he does.  If he formed the foundations of the earth, can he not fix our little problems? We need to check our hearts and make sure we aren't letting golden opportunities to further the kingdom pass by just because we are scared.