Diamonds in the Rough

Have you ever been in  place where you think, "God, why am I here right now and what is the purpose of this?" I guess that's where faith comes in.  We have to trust the One that made us and orchestrated the circumstances.

Sometimes I feel like, when I look at my life, I am looking at a mirror dripping with condensation.  I can see a little bit, but squint and struggle to see clearly.  There is nothing I can do to make it more clear.  I just have to wait for the steam to roll away. 

Trusting and obeying seem to be like oil and water.  How are we supposed to trust God by obeying him to stay in a state of not knowing?  It seems that trusting to stay in a state where you don't really understand only brings about exhaustion and questions as to what the point really is.  What is God getting at?  What is it that I need to learn so badly that he wants these circumstances that swirl around like a tornado to continue with no end in sight? 

I guess it just comes down to living in the moment.  Just live in that moment the best you know how not losing faith but pressing on.  Live and do the best you can believing God will reveal all in his most perfect timing.  He doesn't leave.  He doesn't forget.  He knows about every tiny detail of our lives and orchestrates them to create something unbelievable.  He creates diamonds from the soot, but it's going to be an arduous process.  Nothing of worth is made quickly...and that certainly includes the creation of a heart like Christ.

The Stainlifter

What is that one thing, or that string of things, that you never want anyone to know about you?  What is the thing in your past, or present, that will alter others' perception of who you really are?  We all have those "things" we hate to think about, to remember or even admit to ourselves really happened.  They are like a bad dream that seems to have become part of our memory.

But, what if we knew these things about one another?  What if we knew these things, and still didn't judge?  Is that even possible?  Can you imagine others knowing things you are ashamed of so much that you are in denial of them yourself?  What an unveiling!  What a feeling of nakedness.  Exposure beyond covering.

Well, it would definitely be humbling.  It makes me think about just how much we worry about the opinions of others.  If all was revealed, who would be left there standing beside of us in our shame, helping us to realize that is not who we really are?  What people would be there?  And do we realize that Christ DOES see all of that, and he has ALWAYS been there?  I know I don't.  I don't like to think he knows about and witnessed or witnesses the me that is mean and stained with sin.

The thing is...he loves us still.  He rinses us clean, tends to our wounds and keeps us warm.  He offers forgiveness and new life.  A clean slate and clean clothes.  It seems we walk around thinking others cannot see the stains.  We try to hide them in various ways.  It could be by overachieving to distract, or underachieving.  It could be highlighting some part of our personality that others will pay attention to instead of the stains on our clothes.  It could be staying busy.  Whatever the means, they are but an illusion compared to God's stain fighting power.  It doesn't matter what it was, how long it has been there, how it smells or looks, our Father makes it seem it was never there.  I am so grateful for that, because my secret stains are so bad that no human being could get them out.

Abba Father

When I think of my life...I just smile.  My life is so amazing right now.  I feel so loved, and I am in a place of peace.  God certainly keeps his promises.  The gifts he has given me and continues to give me are exceedingly more than I could have dreamed.  I am amazed at how he continues to do work within me that seemed impossible just a few years ago.  How he engineers circumstances so that I may be fully blessed and see his beautiful face in the face of others.  He is just so very good to me.  It warms my heart.  I am blessed that he has given me gifts that bless others in times of sadness.  I get to be a part of and witness the Holy Spirit being the balm needed to soothe the burning wound.

The journey is not void of mishaps and unexpected twists and turns.  It is how we handle those things that either creates a spring of living water or a pond of stagnant disease.  God does not mean us harm, but offers a chance to hope...to have faith and live a full life.  That life cannot be built upon circumstances or even the people we love the most.  It must be built on the strong arms of God himself, because circumstances change and people do not stay the same.

I praise God today, for turning mourning into laughter.  What miracles he births from tragedy! 

Walk by Faith

I thought I knew
what was really you-
Then everything changed,
I couldn't see you again...
Where did you go?
Why can't I know?
Are you coming back
to make my heart race fast?
Will you shed some light
on the darkness of night?
Will I again see,
as I fall to my knees?
Will my hope be secured
by the effort I put forth?
Will the fog lift,
or will I die in this mist?
Will my questions be answered
and the truth discovered?
Will this side of heaven
ever know why,
or will the answers be revealed
when once the scroll is unsealed?

I do not know
how far you will go-
To mold within me,
a heart of pure gold.
But this is true,
I will trust you to do
the work to make it whole
until the story is told.
The one you have in mind-
The one you've designed--
I wait in anticipation
for that revelation,
of a life created

and never forsaken.

A River Runs Through Me

I have never thought about rivers the way I have thought about them today.  I have always thought of water and rivers to be something good since water is mentioned so much in the Bible as a cleansing agent and a symbol of purity.  But after reading a devotional this morning, I realized so much more.

All rivers have a source.  We may never realize or know from where it began, but it has a place of origin.  And all rivers have obstacles.  There may be rocks, tree branches and trash for it to push through or find a path around.  Sometimes, rivers seem to disappear only to reappear miles away.

It's amazing to think that each of us who draw from the source of Christ has the ability to be as tough and mighty as a river.  No matter the situation, that power is within.  There may be no way to escape what is in front of us, but the source finds a way to push through, maneuver around or remove the daunting challenge ahead.  The power of God backs us.  Think about that.  The power of the living God propels us as we call upon it.

Maybe there is little evidence of the river within us right now.  Maybe it has been reduced to a trickle.  That is okay, though.  The source never left.  He gives us what we need in the time we need it.  Slow and steady is the course.  We may feel that we have no impact on the world around us due to the small size of the river we navigate.  Per Oswald Chambers, the fact is "God rarely allows a soul to see how great a blessing he is."  So, though we don't see the impact the water flowing through us has, it is still changing lives.