The Lesson of the Stink Bug

I noticed a stink bug in the bathroom a few days ago.  I was going to take it outside (I never want to kill things that are not where they belong), but forgot to after I finished getting ready for the day.  As I was brushing my teeth yesterday, I looked up to see that same stink bug (I am assuming) crawling on the window that doesn't open.  I remembered that I had forgotten to take it outside.  When I finished rinsing, I reached up clasping him in my hand and went downstairs to let him out the front door.

As I whisked my open hand into the air to release him, I watched as he flew in one direction and zigzagged a few times.  Then, he came to a sudden halt.  He was frozen in mid air.  He got caught in a spider web in the corner of the porch.  I just sighed and shut the front door.  I was let down that my effort landed him on the spider's menu for the evening.

I thought about how reckless that little stink bug had been.  I had done all of that to free him from what would have led to his death, and within seconds, he gets himself in a real death trap.  I began to wonder if humans are that different? 

Have you ever realized that you are merely moving from one type of prison to another?  The scenery may be different, but you just exchange one location of entrapment for something even worse.  People tried to get you out of that place they knew you didn't belong, but you hadn't yet learned how to keep yourself from being bound.  When they did help free you, you flew into a spider web.

The real work should come from those of us that are entrapped by something, not by those that want us to be free.  We have to take responsibility and learn what actions and thoughts caused us to get to this place and then do the work necessary to change what is faulty.  We have to learn new ways to fly that are not erratic and only lead to more heartache.  We have to take responsibility for letting those people down that tried to help us when we seemed helpless.  Their generosity was taken advantage of.

We may have only flown one crazy way all of our lives, but that doesn't mean we can't change.  A stink bug can learn to fly like a bee.  They know what their job is, don't take detours and bravely do go out into a gigantic world.  God has a very specific plan for us, too.  If bees can follow instructions, can't we learn to?

Couples Therapy

You never know what happens behind closed doors.  A couple may look blissfully happy to everyone else, but once that door closes behind them, all hell breaks loose.  I know.  I lived that.

My husband is truly a gift from God.  He was given to me when I did not deserve him.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we were meant to be.  He was God's choice for me.  Yet, our relationship was pretty miserable for years.  We were madly in love, but we did not know how to live with one another.  We did not understand one another.  It was as though we kept trying to force the other to understand a language they had never heard before.  I brought lots of baggage from a traumatic childhood and grief from the deaths of those I loved.  This infected our marriage. 

After years of various types of counseling, primarily for myself, and literally falling on my knees sobbing over and over again before God, things started to get better.  Eventually, our marriage became fun, light and full of life.  That doesn't mean we don't fight.  Two very stubborn people, are going to argue, but there is now a respect for him that I didn't have before.  I think I was scared to be married in the way that was good and healthy.  I was afraid that if I truly trusted him, he would hurt me like I had been hurt before.  I was also very selfish.

I have a friend that was surprised to hear this since it was evident we were very in love, but being soul mates doesn't mean there isn't work to be done or hard times ahead.  Had we not had that deep love God placed in us for one another, I am sure we would not be together today.  It is only by the grace of God that I am still married to this amazing man.  God's grace washes away all of our sins and changes us from within.  God's love is what brought us together and kept us together.  With it, anything is possible.

Run with Purpose

Sometimes in life, you surprise yourself.  I definitely have this time.  I started running earlier this year.  Before March, something had to be chasing me if you wanted me to run a long distance.  I started by doing a 5K for a good cause and decided this was something I enjoyed.

I just did my first 5 miler.  My goal was to finish and to do it under an hour.  I had not been able to train due to an injury, so this was a lofty goal for me.  The humidity was at 90% the day of the race.  Within the first mile I was drenched in sweat, and I think about 50 people passed me.  That's okay.  I kept running.  About two miles into it, I passed a girl that was trying really hard, but even I could pass her.  I felt like I needed to slow my pace and run with her.  I had a slight twinge to do that. It was just a passing thought.  I didn't think much of it and kept running feeling kind of good that I could pass someone.  I finished meeting my goal and didn't see when the girl crossed behind me.

At home after the race, I started to feel bad about what I had done.  I realized that I had grieved the Holy Spirit.  Why did it matter that I met MY goal?  I was given an invitation from God to uplift someone else, and myself.  What made me zoom past her instead of befriend her? 

Me.  I wanted to keep going.  I didn't want more people to pass me.  I was being selfish.  What was it that God, knowing all things, wanted me to share with this girl?  Did I just need to show her that someone was kind and cared about her?  What furthering of Christ's Kingdom did I impede? What was missed?

I will never know. That's sad.  I lost sight of something vital to living life.  This is not MY race.  My life is not my own. It's not about how fast I finish.  What's important is how I ran the race. 

I am writing this so that we can learn from my mistake.  It's always worth it to slow the pace to help someone else.  We seem to hurry through life intent on our own agendas missing golden opportunities waiting along the way.  We are so consumed with storing up treasures here on earth the supply has never been stocked in heaven.  Slow down and listen to God's prompting.  Obedience to it will change the world.

Ghosts from the Past

Some things haunt us.  I think we can all say there are things that happened, or didn't happen, in our pasts that seem to smack us in the face out of nowhere like a ghost darting in and out of our lives.  We may long to forget the events that spontaneously strike us like a whip.  Why should we be harassed by such terrible things?

If we forgot, who would we be now?  If all recollection of the event and the pain the ensued was erased, would we be as compassionate or empathetic?  Would we have learned how to traverse the bog armored with only our faith?  Who would be left hurting from the absence of our wisdom derived from those haunted visuals?

I think the remembrance of things not so pleasant is another chance to heal.  It gives another opportunity to deal with what may have never thoroughly been dealt with.  We can decide to learn from the pain that seeps out gradually over months, years or decades, or keep trying to ignore it.  Beware of the latter strategy.  The pressure from avoidance will inevitably lead to an explosion and/or living an inhibited life.

Everything that happens can be used for good even if it was breathed into life by the depths of hell.  God can make the horrific morph into a miracle.  He turns the broken and bruised into people made of steel.  Once almost lifeless, they are now tanks in the army of God.