Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Advice for New Moms

I remember playing with baby dolls as a young girl knowing that this is wanted I wanted to do when I grew up.  Above all else, I wanted to be a Mommy.  Sure, I wanted to see the world and have a career, but I knew in my heart, at a very young age, that the job that would be most important would be Motherhood.

So, when I was pregnant with our daughter, I was elated.  My pregnancy was relatively easy and delivery was quick.  Now, the parenting began.  While we were in the hospital, I called the nurses in the room every hour it seems with questions.  They were very kind and gracious although I know they had to be a bit annoyed!  I wanted to do everything right.  This was our precious little angel after all, and the pressure to be the best parent ever was there from the start.


Once we were home with her, it was our job to figure everything out, and we fumbled our way through. It was harder than we ever could have imagined, yet it was sweeter than we ever could have imagined.  I read parenting advice from every source I could get my hands on.  How do we get her to sleep?  What helps with teething?  How and when should we introduce solids? What's the best way to wean?  Yep, that first year was filled with questions and answers we had to figure out by trial and error.  I realized that my child is not going to necessarily be like the average, and we have to find what works for our family.

Time has passed, and two more babies have been
born.  Though I am far from a veteran at parenting, I've started learning the value of not sweating the small stuff.  It's hard for a Type A person like myself to just "let go", but it really is so much more enjoyable.  There are SO many opinions out there about what is best for kids these days, but the opinion that matters most, is yours as their parent.  God knew what he was doing by giving us these particular babies.

Parenting grows you and forces you to face your own issues in ways nothing else will-unless you decide not to admit to your mistakes.  So many times at night I lie in bed feeling guilty about my mothering that day.  I get frustrated and impatient with children that are beautiful yet sinful just like me.  God is teaching me daily to stop trying to be that perfect Mommy that I had hoped to be when I was a little girl playing with my baby dolls.  I will never be her.  She doesn't exist.  What is real is the love of our Savior through our faults.  So, I try to remind myself and my children that Jesus loves us both no matter how many fits each of us has!

My advice to new Mommies is to go into each day with the mindset that God will provide what you need that particular day as you ask him, because you are not going to have all the answers, or even any of the answers some days.  Take care of yourself, too.  I neglected myself for years, and the result was depression.  Get connected with other moms, get a babysitter and get out.  Don't neglect your marriage either.  The pressure of having kids and all that comes along with it can put a strain on a relationship, and your partner needs to come first.  Issues that may have been swept under the rug for years, may pop up.  Deal with them.  We teach our kids to work out their problems with others, so we need to lead by example.

The greatest advice is probably to trust your gut and PRAY.  Then, pray and trust your gut, over and over again.  This will help you gain confidence as a Mommy when voices from all around start to confuse you...and there are usually plenty of voices!