Thursday, June 21, 2012

Friends Come and Go

I have never really handled changes in relationships very well.  I tend not to get too close so that I won't get hurt should the relationship end or change for some reason.  In my experience, those changes can be extremely painful and difficult to manage.

I realize though, that changes must come for growth to happen.  Those relationships need room to breathe and mature into what God wants them to be.  What may seem to be the end could just be the beginning of a new facet and deeper level of friendship.  A whole new way of seeing someone may emerge and a sense of appreciation for them that was never there before.

I think it is also difficult for me since I grow very attached to people once I let myself start to bond.  I am the type that is very loyal and try to meet the needs of those I care about.  When the relationship faces change, I question what my role will be in their lives.  Will I lose the sense of safety with this person once the relationship changes?  Will I not be able to be there for them and will they not be there for me?  Will I be replaced?

It seems scary to think you could be replaced after putting so much work into a relationship.  I don't think it's a replacement, though.  How can one person completely replace another?  No, we add people to our lives when others fade out. 

Sometimes, we are meant to be in a person's life for a short time.  It can be a time where a deep bond is formed making it difficult when circumstances change. The ease of the friendship is no longer there.  It may not be convenient anymore.  We don't need to think of it as losing a friend, but be grateful that we had that friendship at that particular time in our lives.

Some friends are lifelong.  They are constant.  They are there though others may drift in and out.  Thank God for these people that help make up the backbone of our sanity.  They tell us like it is and never falter in their love for us.  They are easy to talk to, because they just get us. These people are true blessings from above that go through our lives with us.

I am still learning how to transition with people.  I am grateful that God has taken me through situations that challenge my faulty thinking and anxiety. 

It's life.  It's a process.

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