Monday, May 16, 2011

Thorns in the Flesh

Remember that verse where Paul says so passionately and almost desperately (I imagine) how he continues to do those things he does not want to do.  How his humanity gets in the way and hinders what he sees his life with God as.  I am so glad he wrote that.  I feel it so often when those thorns in my side keep me from sprinting through the finish line as fast as I'd like.

But, maybe those thorns are there for a reason.  Constant reminders that we alone can do nothing.  The injuries remind us that we are not invincible or any better than anyone else.  We are not exempt from sorrow just as Jesus was not.  We need to throw our arm around the one who knows what it is like to walk a road with swollen feet, and blood pouring from his body.  We need to let him help us, because he knows the pain of walking forward when you've been beaten and bruised.  He sees our weariness of heart.  He feels our desire to lay down and quit.  Yet, he never leaves us there to let the vultures eat what's left of us.  He scoops us up and carries us when we cannot put one foot in front of the other.

My heart grieves at the thought that I can so easily shew away this same God-man when I think I can complete this course on my own.  Why must I ask only when I am almost dead for his strength and grace?  I am so thankful that at this juncture, he is teaching me what a constant connection can mean.  My pride fights him, but he breaks it like a twig.  I am so thankful for that.  I would much rather endure the pain that comes from growing than the pain that comes from curling up into myself, staying stagnant-but believing I am moving forward.

I pray for the grace I need to keep pressing forward with the One who knows how to do this life better than any being that has ever lived.  Who I am truly is not solely me, but me with Him.

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