I'm not sure why I thought about this last night shortly before succumbing to sleep. I was thinking about the atmosphere at funerals and how we behave when someone dies. People often whisper, walk around with their hands folded in front of them, look somber and sometimes like they are trying very hard not to step on imaginary needles coming out of the floor.
We are respectful, and it seems that funerals are a place where the deceased are given a chance to be seen in their best light. We don't tell stories about what horrible people they were. No matter what kind of person they were, we highlight what was good about them. We talk about what made them special, what their talents were and the good they did. Why is it that we seem to be able to love others best after they are dead?
We know that there is no chance for them to change now. We know that there is really no point trying to make them be something they aren't. We appreciate them more, because we won't see them again this side of eternity. Those terrible things they may have done are still terrible, but they do not define who they were.
In life, we may have wanted them to be so much more, to reach their potential, but isn't life about the journey? They just ended theirs before we may have thought they had found their way. All of this is not for us to determine. Who are we anyway? We certainly are not God. Why can't we love someone in life as we do in death? Why can't we love them where they are instead of withholding love until they get to where we think they need to be? Why must we criticize and judge while forfeiting prayer for them?
We are human. That's why. We want perfection from others though we can never give it ourselves. We think we know the answers when in reality, we have no idea what their answers are. We didn't create them or set a path for them. That is between them and God. We tend to put our concern for what is best for them above our love for them where they are. Even if we are right, why should they listen to us if we have not truly loved them?
When we realize how brief life is and how short our time with others really can be, we learn to live in the moment with others and appreciate the creation God made. Life is but a breath. Fill it with love.
We are respectful, and it seems that funerals are a place where the deceased are given a chance to be seen in their best light. We don't tell stories about what horrible people they were. No matter what kind of person they were, we highlight what was good about them. We talk about what made them special, what their talents were and the good they did. Why is it that we seem to be able to love others best after they are dead?
We know that there is no chance for them to change now. We know that there is really no point trying to make them be something they aren't. We appreciate them more, because we won't see them again this side of eternity. Those terrible things they may have done are still terrible, but they do not define who they were.
In life, we may have wanted them to be so much more, to reach their potential, but isn't life about the journey? They just ended theirs before we may have thought they had found their way. All of this is not for us to determine. Who are we anyway? We certainly are not God. Why can't we love someone in life as we do in death? Why can't we love them where they are instead of withholding love until they get to where we think they need to be? Why must we criticize and judge while forfeiting prayer for them?
We are human. That's why. We want perfection from others though we can never give it ourselves. We think we know the answers when in reality, we have no idea what their answers are. We didn't create them or set a path for them. That is between them and God. We tend to put our concern for what is best for them above our love for them where they are. Even if we are right, why should they listen to us if we have not truly loved them?
When we realize how brief life is and how short our time with others really can be, we learn to live in the moment with others and appreciate the creation God made. Life is but a breath. Fill it with love.
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