Friday, May 16, 2014

Stopping to See the Joy of Motherhood

This evening, I sat outside in the grass watching my baby girl put rocks in a Tupperware container and throw them out over and over again.  She squealed with delight like it was a new celebration every time.  I looked over grinning at her as the sun crept down into the sky.

Just minutes before this, I couldn't stop thinking about the two-week high grass that blew in the wind, our mammoth hedges and garden that sat plowed but seedless for weeks.  I was embarrassed that our yard looked this way.  I even commented to a neighbor how the grass was going to be mowed soon as she was taking a break from mowing her own yard.

Yet, watching my daughter get joy from a Tupperware dish and rocks, changed my mindset.  I thought about all of the busyness around me.  I could hear lawn mowers and weed eaters doing their jobs to tidy up unkempt lawns.  It dawned on me how my daughter has forced me to slow down.  I couldn't do yard work right now or any other work that required my full attention.  I have to watch her, and watching her has forced me to really see her.  I have seen the little person she is becoming and the discoveries she makes every day.  Really being with her and seeing who she is has also forced me to stop being so busy.  I would rather tickle her and play peek-a-boo than cut the grass sooner.  I don't want to miss one hug or kiss, because some menial task is taking my attention away.

There have been years when no little one has graced our home and there will be years to come when she will be gone.  Those are times to get the yard looking nice, the house decorated just the way I want it and to pursue career advancement.  Right now though, she is way too important to stress myself over things that really don't matter in the light of eternity.  I am a mother.  Now that statement has eternal significance.  That statement bears the weight and seriousness of a true calling.

I don't know why I am a mother and others are not, but I can assure those who yearn to hold a child in their arms; I do not in any way take motherhood for granted.  I hold each hug a few more seconds, breathe her in and kiss her again.  I hold her little hand when we snuggle and pray over her every night.  She knows her Mommy loves her.  It is a job I take very seriously.

With that being said, everything isn't done around the house.  I deemed it more important to spend the evening cuddling with my baby, reading her stories and helping her fall asleep.  My heart is full. It was a good shift.  

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