I really like weddings. My definition of a "good wedding" is one where the love of the two people getting married seems to shoot bright beams of light out of them. I find myself smiling from ear to ear when I see two people getting married that are truly meant to be. They love each other completely. When they say their vows, you know they mean them. They mean that they are committed wholly to one another no matter what may happen. They will put the other above all else.
Now, the challenges of fulfilling those vows can seem insurmountable. Sometimes, it feels like "worse" is never going to be over. Sometimes, you or your spouse, start to slip, or you may begin to truly realize what it means to keep those lovely words. What does it mean to commit your life to someone else? It certainly isn't realized by the time you get back from the honeymoon.
If you think about vows, and really dig into the meaning of them, they are kind of scary. I realized after getting married how hard it can be to keep the vows I spoke with lovestruck candor when I didn't feel like there was any possible way the problem would be resolved. How was I going to stick it out when we didn't seem to know how to communicate, when we had such different backgrounds, when circumstances of life sat on our marriage one ton of bricks after another?
I realized that no matter what, this was a commitment. I decided long ago, even before that day when everything was supposed to be perfect and beautiful, that I would do whatever it takes to have a good marriage. I would sacrifice what needed to be done away with, and I would swallow my pride. How that pans out can be pretty ugly, but I certainly give it a whirl. I had decided that I would meet him where he is instead of longing for him to do all of the work to meet me. I realized that I had to stop whining about what I wanted him to do, and do something myself. I needed to take the steps to have a good marriage. It's always easier to meet in the middle once somebody takes the first step.
Without a doubt, marriage has changed me for the better, but it never would have been that way had I married the wrong guy. Marriage is too hard to romanticize. It should be placed at the very top of the relationship importance scale, behind a relationship with Christ. Should it fall, you should fight to get it back to it's rightful place. It's worth the risk of losing your pride or even losing other people.
Now, the challenges of fulfilling those vows can seem insurmountable. Sometimes, it feels like "worse" is never going to be over. Sometimes, you or your spouse, start to slip, or you may begin to truly realize what it means to keep those lovely words. What does it mean to commit your life to someone else? It certainly isn't realized by the time you get back from the honeymoon.
If you think about vows, and really dig into the meaning of them, they are kind of scary. I realized after getting married how hard it can be to keep the vows I spoke with lovestruck candor when I didn't feel like there was any possible way the problem would be resolved. How was I going to stick it out when we didn't seem to know how to communicate, when we had such different backgrounds, when circumstances of life sat on our marriage one ton of bricks after another?
I realized that no matter what, this was a commitment. I decided long ago, even before that day when everything was supposed to be perfect and beautiful, that I would do whatever it takes to have a good marriage. I would sacrifice what needed to be done away with, and I would swallow my pride. How that pans out can be pretty ugly, but I certainly give it a whirl. I had decided that I would meet him where he is instead of longing for him to do all of the work to meet me. I realized that I had to stop whining about what I wanted him to do, and do something myself. I needed to take the steps to have a good marriage. It's always easier to meet in the middle once somebody takes the first step.
Without a doubt, marriage has changed me for the better, but it never would have been that way had I married the wrong guy. Marriage is too hard to romanticize. It should be placed at the very top of the relationship importance scale, behind a relationship with Christ. Should it fall, you should fight to get it back to it's rightful place. It's worth the risk of losing your pride or even losing other people.
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