Being a Mommy, is nothing like I thought it would be. I really didn't think about the daily ups and downs when I was dreaming of holding a baby in my arms. It's true that you really can't fathom parenthood until you are smack dab (the southern girl is coming out) in the middle of it.
I sit here refreshed after a long shower where I didn't hurry and actually shaved my legs. It was heavenly. It has been several days since I showered (tmi?), and my body reeked of dried throw up since my daughter was sick yesterday. That part of parenthood, may have been spoken of before we had our little one, but the reality of it was nothing I could understand at the time.
It sounds disgusting to be a parent, huh? I was taking care of her by myself since my husband was working, and it was mostly great. It hurt my heart to see her sick, but holding her, stroking her hair and loving her brought me so much joy.
I was recently asked what it's like to be connected to a little one her age. I gave some type of answer about loving it when she rests her head on my shoulder. I thought more about it later, and realized there are no words. Nothing can describe the moment you first lay eyes on them, when they smile at you for the first time and belt out a little giggle. No words can measure the burning love you feel for them while you hold them, rock them, sing to them, feed them...while you love them.
I have learned so much in the past year. The most valuable lesson is that I can do nothing in my own strength. Raising a child has taught me that only frustration will come if I don't bow before the author of all when I have no idea what else to do. For now, it's trying to get her not to be such a picky eater, but I know in years to come there will be so much more that is out of my control. And I can't fix it.
It's such a great privilege and responsibility to be a parent. I know that my responsibility is to always pray for and with her. It's to teach her the way she should go so that when she is old she will not depart from it. That means I need to step up my game. I need to be mindful of my own faults and limitations and lay them before the throne. I need to ask for what I lack. God gives so graciously if we only ask.
Sometimes, I tell my husband, "I'm afraid I'll mess up our daughter". I am limiting the power of God and the redemption of Christ's blood. When I say that, I am thinking of my faults and not the God I pray to. He is the one that gave us this beautiful child, yet I seem to forget he is here to guide us as we raise her.
I am grateful for this moment of cleanliness and quiet while she naps. I am grateful that God is so patient with me. May I learn from him-especially if she wakes up grouchy!
I sit here refreshed after a long shower where I didn't hurry and actually shaved my legs. It was heavenly. It has been several days since I showered (tmi?), and my body reeked of dried throw up since my daughter was sick yesterday. That part of parenthood, may have been spoken of before we had our little one, but the reality of it was nothing I could understand at the time.
It sounds disgusting to be a parent, huh? I was taking care of her by myself since my husband was working, and it was mostly great. It hurt my heart to see her sick, but holding her, stroking her hair and loving her brought me so much joy.
I was recently asked what it's like to be connected to a little one her age. I gave some type of answer about loving it when she rests her head on my shoulder. I thought more about it later, and realized there are no words. Nothing can describe the moment you first lay eyes on them, when they smile at you for the first time and belt out a little giggle. No words can measure the burning love you feel for them while you hold them, rock them, sing to them, feed them...while you love them.
I have learned so much in the past year. The most valuable lesson is that I can do nothing in my own strength. Raising a child has taught me that only frustration will come if I don't bow before the author of all when I have no idea what else to do. For now, it's trying to get her not to be such a picky eater, but I know in years to come there will be so much more that is out of my control. And I can't fix it.
It's such a great privilege and responsibility to be a parent. I know that my responsibility is to always pray for and with her. It's to teach her the way she should go so that when she is old she will not depart from it. That means I need to step up my game. I need to be mindful of my own faults and limitations and lay them before the throne. I need to ask for what I lack. God gives so graciously if we only ask.
Sometimes, I tell my husband, "I'm afraid I'll mess up our daughter". I am limiting the power of God and the redemption of Christ's blood. When I say that, I am thinking of my faults and not the God I pray to. He is the one that gave us this beautiful child, yet I seem to forget he is here to guide us as we raise her.
I am grateful for this moment of cleanliness and quiet while she naps. I am grateful that God is so patient with me. May I learn from him-especially if she wakes up grouchy!
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