I look down these days to see a belly that is growing by the moment. Sometimes I think, "Is this real? Am I really pregnant? Will I really be holding a baby in a little over two months?!"
It's something I have waited 31 years for...to be a mother. I guess it doesn't sound progressive and modern, but I have always wanted my profession in life to be Mother. I enjoy my job, but in my mind, nothing compares to the immense privilege, responsibility and joy of raising a child. I feel like I have done the interviews and been waiting for years to now finally get the job! The wait has made me so very grateful for the little one moving inside of me at this moment.
I have seen the look in other women's eyes that I once had when I talked to a pregnant woman...sadness and envy. I empathize with them, but also admire them for continuing to wait or adopting children that so desperately need a good mother. We all have different paths in life, and it is so hard not to compare our journey to the journey of others...especially when your heart's desire is to carry your own child.
God continues to teach me to let go...to release control of what I have never had control over. He decided it was the right time for this baby, and he decides the course of her life. I may carry her in my belly, but she has always been his. She always will be.
It's something I have waited 31 years for...to be a mother. I guess it doesn't sound progressive and modern, but I have always wanted my profession in life to be Mother. I enjoy my job, but in my mind, nothing compares to the immense privilege, responsibility and joy of raising a child. I feel like I have done the interviews and been waiting for years to now finally get the job! The wait has made me so very grateful for the little one moving inside of me at this moment.
I have seen the look in other women's eyes that I once had when I talked to a pregnant woman...sadness and envy. I empathize with them, but also admire them for continuing to wait or adopting children that so desperately need a good mother. We all have different paths in life, and it is so hard not to compare our journey to the journey of others...especially when your heart's desire is to carry your own child.
God continues to teach me to let go...to release control of what I have never had control over. He decided it was the right time for this baby, and he decides the course of her life. I may carry her in my belly, but she has always been his. She always will be.
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