Friday, July 1, 2011

This Ain't no Fairy Tale

I was just looking at a picture of my husband and I in front of the Eiffel Tower on our honeymoon.  We look happy and in love, without a care in the world.  If you looked at that picture you might see that.  And we were so in love and happy to be with one another.  But there is always more there than what a picture can capture.

A lot was going on at that time.  We were reeling from the stress of just 4 months to plan a wedding with very little money.  In the previous six months, we had lived in different states and traveled back and forth every weekend.  When we got engaged, I moved.  I had to find a job (which didn't happen until right before we got married) and ended up crashing with a friend.  My soon-to-be-spouse felt the burden of providing for me financially well before he was prepared to.  I got sued for a car accident that happened years before.  My step-dad was in declining health, and I was hoping he would have the strength to make the wedding.  Other unexpected stressors kept jabbing at our relationship from every side.  And to top it all off, I was trying to figure out how to fully trust a man-making the tension electrifying.

So much is unsaid on a daily basis.  There is so much going on in the lives of others that we really have no idea about.  I think back to those times, and how much understanding we both needed from others.  I think of the people that were so strong when I was not.  Like an amazing friend that became my maid of honor 2 days before the wedding when my best friend couldn't make it.  She even wore a dress I am sure she was not crazy about, but she did it.  She's the one that let me live with her for free, too.  This person has seen every side of bad and ugly I have, and is still one of my best friends in the world.  I foresee her being part of my life and vice versa as long as I am on this earth.

I am not always patient with others' shortcomings, even though I can excuse my own.  I think this is a fault we can all say we have.  Nevertheless, people need someone to give them a glimmer of hope when they are bogged down in worries.  They need genuine kindness and for others to look past behavior that is nasty.  The fuel for that behavior is the problem.  We all have to admit we consume that fuel that can turn us into the worst version of ourselves.  That isn't really us, though.  Hopefully, we can remember it works the same way for other people.  They just need some patience and understanding.

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