Fear of Confrontation

I just had to put this picture up.  I know you guys feel like you need headphones a lot!  As a female, I concur that the wrath of a woman's scorn definitely needs to be muted by some nice tunes. 

But seriously, communication with anyone is hindered when one person thinks they are "discussing" an issue, but all they are doing is using a verbal mallet to try to beat the other person into submission.  This kind of confrontation only creates fear.  I think we can grow up learning it is better to avoid any sort of confrontation so you don't get yelled at.

How easy is it to feel fear or intimidation and quietly tuck your tail between your legs as you exit the back door trying to keep from being seen?  It is definitely less scary not to stand face to face with what frightens us.  We try to avoid conflict where we we could be lashed out at and hurt.  That seems normal.  What does bowing out gain, though?  When is it the right time to avoid confrontation, and when is the right time to embrace it?

Of course, it depends on the situation, but I think if you are trying to stealthily sneak away from it, you probably need to be facing it.  I know there are times when it really isn't a good idea to confront that person or issue at the moment.  In those times, you can feel it.  It just doesn't feel right.  You aren't necessarily scared of the confrontation, the time to open Pandora's box just hasn't arrived.  And when you do confront at the wrong time, it just gets more messy and confusing that it should.  We should never confront in anger or to be dominant.  But to face our fears and reveal the truth.  To bring about change and clarity.

I also think that the word confrontation gets a negative connotation when it shouldn't.  Confronting something doesn't mean you have to raise your voice or be foul.  No.  Confronting can be as sweet and gentle as a mother singing her baby to sleep.  You choose your words carefully and try to understand the point of view of others.  You may see the truth, but trying to shove that down someone's throat will make them see it even less, most likely.  To confront someone or something successfully, it should be well planned and thought out.  It should be done out of love.  That can be so very difficult when the reason we confront others is most likely due to our frustration and charged emotions.  That all has to be put aside.

We need to express what we think and feel without expecting it to necessarily be completely accepted.  We need to ask for input and others' opinions, because we may need to alter our view, also.  What I see that can be born of confrontation, is compromise.  Why can't we just sit down like rational people and not get stuck at the confronting part?  We seem to want to pitch a tent there instead of try to meet in the middle or just start over.

If you think about it, our days are filled with confrontations, big and small.  We may be worried about an impending confrontation, be surprised by one, or try to run away from one.  The longer we run from it though, the more stressful it gets.  Just because you don't talk about something, doesn't mean it disappeared.  No.  It's just under the surface being fed by pent up tension and fear.  Don't wait too long to talk about those problems that have been thrown under the rug.  They can turn into monsters that start to tear up your soul.