Oh, Happy Day!

Time and reflection often bring peace and hope.  They don't necessarily bring understanding, though.  I am still adjusting to the feeling of having the floor fall through.  I am still trying to figure out how to live here. 

My heart aches as I recall when the floor was beginning to crumble.  As I did everything I could to keep it from caving in.  As I prayed and cried, and cried and prayed every day for God to save our baby's life.  That little life that was growing inside.

Now, I realize he did save her life.  I realize we will see her again, but oh the ache of a mother's heart that is apart from her child!  It is more than I can bear at times.  When I can't breathe, I fall to my knees and pray God would give me what I do not have.  The strength to believe.  The strength to be blessed.  The strength to have faith.  Because I still don't know why.  I still feel in the dark.  I am still so very human.

I long for the day when all eternity waits as I feel that sweet little being's embrace.  Through her, God has taught me what love, hope, and faith really are.  And though it seems like forever right now, he knows the brevity of the wait when mother, daughter and father meet.  Oh, what a happy day that will be!