Showing posts with label letting go. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letting go. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

An Anxious Heart

Have you ever taken your stress out on a person that really has nothing to do with why you are stressed out?  We often do not feel we can stand up for ourselves or defend ourselves to those in authority over us.  It may be our parents, bosses or even friends that are vomiting their anxiety onto us.  What often happens?  We also pick a weaker target to get the stress off of our backs.  These are not the most honorable moments for human beings.

Something else can happen when the stresses of the world bear upon us.  We can eat that stress.  Instead of letting it go or even placing it on others, we can just hold it in.  We can give it a home to grow into a bigger and bigger monster until it seems it takes over who we are.  We cannot see clearly.  We cannot think clearly.  We just move on from day to day trying to avoid what we have given a home.

So, how do we get rid of the anxiety that we live with?  How do we let go without hurting others?  That's something I struggle with daily.  There are lots of calming techniques and prayers that can be prayed when you feel anxious, but how do we "be anxious for nothing"?  How do we "cast our cares upon him (Jesus)"?  How do we do this immediately?

I think that if we have allowed and even invited anxiety into our lives since childhood, it is very difficult to break the pattern.  I find myself purposely having to push thoughts out of my mind, give myself positive self talk and rehearse the truth.  Some days things just get to us more than others, and those are the days that prayer and constant divine intervention is needed.

I think the root of anxiety is low self-confidence.  It could be not feeling confident in relationships, in our profession, but mostly in who we are.  If we constantly doubt ourselves, we will always be anxious.  We will always wonder if we can really do life.  If we have had significant loss or fear it, we can also tend to feel anxious about losing what we do have. 

I think repeating the truths of God Word is imperative to changing destructive patterns and forming new ways of thinking and feeling.  We need to see ourselves and others the way God does.  We need to believe in our hearts that he takes care of us and those we love.  We need to realize that we are all human, and we will never be perfect.  We need to be concerned about what God thinks, not so much about the opinion of others.  They are not living our lives.  It's easy to say these things and nod our heads in agreement, but for many of us, it takes back breaking work to live it.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Dog and his Chicken Leg

I was sitting on the couch last night relaxing after a day filled with busyness, contemplation and having to do things bosses hate to do.  As I sat there, I began to think about events during the day that bothered me, and I found myself holding onto them for dear life.  My mind kept saying, "What are you doing?  This is silly."  My emotions were set on replaying those events.

Just a few minutes later, our dog Bailey comes into the living room doorway with something in his mouth.  We had the overhead light off, so Eric thought it was one of his toys.  I saw the way he was fixated and knew...he'd gotten in the trash and taken out an old piece of fried chicken I had thrown away.  I went over to him ,telling him to let go.  Eric kept telling him to let go, too.  As I grabbed the chicken, I realized he had a death grip on it.  He was not going to give up without a fight.  We kept telling him to drop it.  Let it go.  Finally after a couple of minutes, he acquiesed.  We banished him from the kitchen but couldn't help but smile and laugh as he cocked his head to one side with his hound dog ears spread out like radar and looked up sadly at us with his light brown eyes.

As I sat back on the couch after reprimanding him, I thought about how Bailey and I were so alike.  We both went in to the trash, took something out that we had no business having, and held onto it no matter how it would affect us. 
I have been praying to let go of those things that are so inconsequential and not worth the brainpower to keep thinking about.  I seem to be able to let go of the bigger things in life so easily and trust God.  Somehow, I keep wanting scraps, though.  I tend to want to revert to ways that aren't allowed.  Life is a fancy dinner.  I am praying I learn to keep my head out of the trash.