If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be a Lutheran by my early 30s, I would have given you a blank stare and probably thought something like, "Okay, crazy person, aren't Lutherans like Catholics?"
That's kind of embarrassing since I grew up in a very religious environment. It's embarrassing that I didn't know enough about what I believed to have any idea what the difference was between Catholics and Lutherans. Sadly, I grew up knowing religion but very little about the grace and true Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I grew up in Baptist circles where my life was touched by some very kind people. Some of them truly showed the love of Christ to me and my family.
However, the message conveyed to me for 3 decades was not really the Gospel.
Even the call for salvation is to ask Jesus into your heart.
Where is that in Scripture? Which disciple asked Jesus into his heart? Which sinner did this? Did the thief of the cross?
I've never found anything to support this. Yet, I believed it, felt the pressure as a very young child to pray the "sinner's prayer" and get other people to do it, too. I did become a Christian as a young child, but I never knew what that truly meant until recently.
I learned at the age of 31 that I don't have to do anything. No, it's not about me! It's about what Jesus has done. I grew up hearing this at times, but the expectation was that I do something. I had to hear God's prompting. I needed to walk down to the altar. I needed to feel my sinfulness and ask Jesus to come to me.
Guess what? He's already there. He doesn't need us to parade our pridefulness with a cloak of so called humility.
There was always a big to do about knowing the exact time and place when you asked Jesus to be your Savior. I find this kind of comical now, because Jesus already was my Savior! Why did I need to do anything in order for that to happen?
It's silly when you think about it. It's like my daughter asking me if I will be her Mommy. Well, of course I'm her Mother. She can reject that fact and turn away from me, but that doesn't make it untrue.
I also grew up feeling that I had to validate myself to those in the church. I felt I had to keep doing things right in order to earn their approval. I grew up always doubting. I was always guilty and never felt like I had done enough. Yet, I never realized I felt this way. All I knew was that I carried an immense burden around that I couldn't seem to shake.
I believed that I could somehow be a "better Christian" if I didn't smoke, curse, drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage. Be as abstinent as possible basically. I didn't get the memo that I wasn't going to hell if I had a beer. I thought I was good if I gave to others, was at church all of the time, and associated with other "good" people.
So, I tried, and of course, I failed. When I failed, I hid it. I hid it because the message had been received since I was a small child that good Christians don't do bad things.
That is an oxymoron. What Christian is good? Isn't that why we need Jesus so desperately? We are all filthy sinners, but by his grace and sacrifice on the cross, we are made whole.
I knew how to be "good". If the church doors were open, we were there. If there was a choir to sing in, a team to go witnessing or a mission trip to go on, I was there. I had scripture memorized, even chapters at a time.
I knew the rules.
Ah, but I was SO miserable. I was chained not truly knowing the freedom that's in Christ. Yes, there are rules to be followed, but not the dos and don'ts that I once thought would lead me to acceptance. I didn't realize I was already accepted-wholly and fully. Only after my first daughter was born and we began attending a Lutheran church did things begin to change.
My husband really wanted us to raise our children in a doctrinally sound church where the truth was preached and taught. I was very hesitant in the beginning. It was extremely different. It was very ordered and liturgical. I found it stuffy. Where was the praise band? Where was the high energy preacher with lots of funny stories?
I found myself getting upset. I didn't hear judgment every Sunday. I heard forgiveness, and that scared me. I didn't know how to be a Christian without that weight of judgment on me. I didn't know what to do if expectations of my performance were not the focus of the sermon.
Time passed, and I began to accept the free gift of Christ's forgiveness as we took communion.
I remember thinking, "This is it? My sins are forgiven? But God, I did the most terrible thing this week. I said something horrible to my husband."
It didn't matter. My sins were forgiven.
That is a truly humbling experience. To be knelt down at an altar taking the body and blood of Christ knowing that he died so that my sins could be forgiven. The sins I blatantly commit. The sins that I defend. The sins I don't even acknowledge. He's forgiven them all. He sees me. He sees the need of me and the rest of the world. How desperately pitiful we are! How we need a Savior! He loves us without strings attached.
That's why it's so amazing and you find so much freedom from hearing ALL of the gospel. Not just the law. Yes, we are utterly condemned, AND we are eternally saved. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God...not just certain verses that suit us but the entire Bible.
I have never been less guilt ridden and felt more freedom. Thanks be to God. I think I'll go have a glass of wine. :)
That's kind of embarrassing since I grew up in a very religious environment. It's embarrassing that I didn't know enough about what I believed to have any idea what the difference was between Catholics and Lutherans. Sadly, I grew up knowing religion but very little about the grace and true Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I grew up in Baptist circles where my life was touched by some very kind people. Some of them truly showed the love of Christ to me and my family.
However, the message conveyed to me for 3 decades was not really the Gospel.
Even the call for salvation is to ask Jesus into your heart.
Where is that in Scripture? Which disciple asked Jesus into his heart? Which sinner did this? Did the thief of the cross?
I've never found anything to support this. Yet, I believed it, felt the pressure as a very young child to pray the "sinner's prayer" and get other people to do it, too. I did become a Christian as a young child, but I never knew what that truly meant until recently.
I learned at the age of 31 that I don't have to do anything. No, it's not about me! It's about what Jesus has done. I grew up hearing this at times, but the expectation was that I do something. I had to hear God's prompting. I needed to walk down to the altar. I needed to feel my sinfulness and ask Jesus to come to me.
Guess what? He's already there. He doesn't need us to parade our pridefulness with a cloak of so called humility.
There was always a big to do about knowing the exact time and place when you asked Jesus to be your Savior. I find this kind of comical now, because Jesus already was my Savior! Why did I need to do anything in order for that to happen?
It's silly when you think about it. It's like my daughter asking me if I will be her Mommy. Well, of course I'm her Mother. She can reject that fact and turn away from me, but that doesn't make it untrue.
I also grew up feeling that I had to validate myself to those in the church. I felt I had to keep doing things right in order to earn their approval. I grew up always doubting. I was always guilty and never felt like I had done enough. Yet, I never realized I felt this way. All I knew was that I carried an immense burden around that I couldn't seem to shake.
I believed that I could somehow be a "better Christian" if I didn't smoke, curse, drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage. Be as abstinent as possible basically. I didn't get the memo that I wasn't going to hell if I had a beer. I thought I was good if I gave to others, was at church all of the time, and associated with other "good" people.
So, I tried, and of course, I failed. When I failed, I hid it. I hid it because the message had been received since I was a small child that good Christians don't do bad things.
That is an oxymoron. What Christian is good? Isn't that why we need Jesus so desperately? We are all filthy sinners, but by his grace and sacrifice on the cross, we are made whole.
I knew how to be "good". If the church doors were open, we were there. If there was a choir to sing in, a team to go witnessing or a mission trip to go on, I was there. I had scripture memorized, even chapters at a time.
I knew the rules.
Ah, but I was SO miserable. I was chained not truly knowing the freedom that's in Christ. Yes, there are rules to be followed, but not the dos and don'ts that I once thought would lead me to acceptance. I didn't realize I was already accepted-wholly and fully. Only after my first daughter was born and we began attending a Lutheran church did things begin to change.
My husband really wanted us to raise our children in a doctrinally sound church where the truth was preached and taught. I was very hesitant in the beginning. It was extremely different. It was very ordered and liturgical. I found it stuffy. Where was the praise band? Where was the high energy preacher with lots of funny stories?
I found myself getting upset. I didn't hear judgment every Sunday. I heard forgiveness, and that scared me. I didn't know how to be a Christian without that weight of judgment on me. I didn't know what to do if expectations of my performance were not the focus of the sermon.
Time passed, and I began to accept the free gift of Christ's forgiveness as we took communion.
I remember thinking, "This is it? My sins are forgiven? But God, I did the most terrible thing this week. I said something horrible to my husband."
It didn't matter. My sins were forgiven.
That's why it's so amazing and you find so much freedom from hearing ALL of the gospel. Not just the law. Yes, we are utterly condemned, AND we are eternally saved. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God...not just certain verses that suit us but the entire Bible.
I have never been less guilt ridden and felt more freedom. Thanks be to God. I think I'll go have a glass of wine. :)
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